Le maudit Mo D.

full circle

Following in the footsteps of his big sis, my bro today announced that he was taking a drama class at his high school down in the C-Juana. He doesn't attend the same high school I did, due to some unfounded rumor that all the cholos at C-Juana High would undoubtedly get loco on his ass and shoot it, so he goes to the whiter, newer school across town in the midst of all those titty-pink track homes that go for loco amounts of money. However, most of the theatrical staff I remember from the 'Juana have moved to this particular school, my former drama teacher included.

Former Drama Teacher (FDT) appeared at the CJ some fifteen years ago to replace the drama teacher who had died the previous summer. Previous Drama Teacher had died on the exact same day as my dad, so I have no recollection of mourning her or giving a shit about her passing. But oh, did FDT! Everything he said or did he claimed was in her beatific honor. I'm not saying "don't honor the dead," but he was a little over the top.

Now, before I attended the ladycollege, I did not have such a finely tuned sense of gaydar. I couldn't exactly smell dick on his lips at that tender juncture in my development, but something about this dude just screamed Gay. Gay drama teacher? You don't say? It wasn't just that he bore more than a passing resemblence to our beloved and recently-deceased gay hair dresser Jeff, he simply exuded homo ions that even the untrained could spot. Most importantly, rather than just go about his business and do the job he was hired for, he decided that to deflect these warranted speculations on his sexuality by being the most vocal gay basher on my high school's staff. "I'm Catholic," he'd begin, practically swishing his hands about from their limp wrists, "And homosexuality is just wrong! The though of two guys together just makes me sick! SICK, I tell you!" Uh-huh. His homilies on the topic of gay sex, especially gay male sex, appeared weekly and unprompted, often in the presence of students who were clearly gay and trying their darndest to keep that info on the d.l.

I don't know about you, but I've found that the people who like to say that the thought of gay sex makes them sick usually spend more than a healthy amount of time thinking about it. FDT was, of course, single, and was always making a big show about wanting to date women. Wanting, but not actually dating women. He just went about the straight beard thing all wrong. It was sad. Especially my mother playing along with him when he went to her for psychic counsel, telling him that someday, that special lady would appear and not notice all those drawings of shirtless teenage boys lying around the house.

While trying and failing to wear the beard, he really pushed the envelope, regularly spent time with certain deliciously handsome and conveniently legally-aged guys in our class off-campus, in his home, and on unchaperoned excursions to New York City. While I can only speculate that FDT acted outside the realm of professionalism and propriety, you'd think that a teacher in his position would cover his own ass and be more discreet. Not this cowboy! He invited one of the more beautiful 18-year-old guys to his house for a shirtless art modeling session and then brought his drawing to school and displayed them like they were high art and not something that could potentially get his ass fired.

Now, apparently since he has been with the school district for fifteen years and still has a job, I assume that he has not committed any actions that, say, would have landed his limp ass in the clink. However, I do not remember him being able to keep his mouth shut about his opinions of other students, feeling free to say in front of me and my mother that a certain one of our female classmates was "a stupid bitch," or changing the surname of one young lady to "Dumbass" or that one of the flouncier guys from M. A. was "a faggot who was going to get AIDS." So confident that everyone had his back and was prepared to conceal his girlish gossip, he just let it fly to whomever. Assuming that in taking the dead drama teacher's job he had also inherited all the love and respect she had earned, he felt free to be a raving closet-case jackass who enjoyed slandering his students.

So I find it hard to believe that in all this time he hasn't gotten at least one reprimand from the brass. My brother, being of the faggy, jaw-flapping variety himself, went and told this teacher who he was and who his older sister was, even after I asked him not to. When I found out that this teacher was now at my bro's school, I told Bro that he was a skeev and to tell me immediately if he starts talking trash about the students and especially if he's still gay-bashing. While I didn't have the strength to rat out teachers when I was a kid, I sure as hell have it now and would be very pleased to recon all of this guys bullshit right now. Especially if he gets some funny idea about inviting my bro to his house for a little sketching session.

Maybe he's a good Catholic who wasn't going outside of the bounds of propriety with the nakey sketches and the weekends in NYC, but he's such a nauseating example of the fag I do NOT want my brother to grow up to be, that I can't help but feel a little over protective of the kid. I want him to LIKE drama, not equate it with some stank basher with low self-esteem.

Posted by Zerd at January 12, 2007 03:59 PM