Le maudit Mo D.

light command

I'm at Quacks. In The Aeroplane is playing on the stereo. I am trying to write a very painful portion of my novel, the long part towards the end where Olivia confronts her grandmother. I decide to take a break and read some blogs of some improv friends, and I read the one of a twenty-year-old friend who seems to be on the verge of making the mistake I made when I was her age, which was not believe what you know to be right about yourself and set goals accordingly. I truly believed at that age that it was not okay to fail, and that it was better that I pursue mediocrity. The years progressed. I was miserable. And now I'm writing a novel, basically on my mother's dime. If it weren't for her infinite generosity and love (and the California courts!), I wouldn't be able to do this. I wish I could have figured this shit out years ago. But I'm still basically young, so here I am.

Did I mention that In The Aeroplane is playing? Carrot flowers. I am very sensitive to carrot flowers.

And so, I'm going to cry.