I've started to notice that very few things are bringing me pleasure and happiness these days. I attribute this to the upcoming thoracic chop-socky. Today as I was eating lunch (dashi bowl!) I was paging through the latest Chronic and everything was about Fuck By Fuck Off, and it made me grumpy. Since when do I hate bands? I like bands. Still, I can't get behind FXFO '07. Professional hipster starfuckers showing up, eating our breakfast tacos, and befouling our local hotel rooms with AXE products and spooge. Fuck them.
I went to pick out my La-Z-Boy Luxury Lift Power Recliner today. I was hoping to be able to buy a traditional La-Z-Boy, the one with the faux-woodgrain hand crank that one uses to lift up the foot portion of the chair. I had a difficult time operating it pre-op, so with eight broken ribs and dissolvable stitches in my pec muscles, I figured I would be unable to operate the chair at all and pictured myself getting trapped in the chair, while having to pee, and being trapped in a urine-soaked La-Z-Boy while doped up on Oxy is not how I want to spend my summer, so I am going to have to purchase the motorized geriatric recliner w/optional heat. I will decline the heat. Because summertime in Austin, the last thing I want is a heated chair.
On the La-Z Boy website, there is a picture of an OLD DUDE operating the LUXURY LIFT. F! That's me. I'm spending my summer pretending to be 90.
The upholstery I chose is a sage green color, and very fuzzy and soft. I told the lady it felt like skinned Muppet and she laughed.
UPDATE: I just looked at the Zen website and discovered that the Dashi Bowl contains 121% of my recommended daily sodium intake! And 895 calories! Holy crap! Here I thought I was eating something moderately healthy, but I might as well be eating pizza or something. Boo!
Posted by Zerd at February 22, 2007 01:54 PMI was thinking about your surgery, and your lengthy recovery... and got to thinking that maybe you could work on another novel while you're laid up.
Posted by: Roy at February 22, 2007 04:45 PMYes! I will need to be doped up for the next one--it's about an Orthodox Jew dating Jesus, so this summer is the perfect time to get crackin' on that.
Posted by: Mo at February 22, 2007 05:28 PMI was thinking you could get really good at internet poker. But maybe you can't do that on Oxy.
Posted by: cm at February 23, 2007 04:01 PM