Today is Little Bro's 16th birthday. Due to a variety of factors, such as his recent movin'-on-up departure from Da Juana to Rich Mar, he was not able to celebrate with his peers and so was shipped to me last night via Southwest Cargo with a note pinned to his sleeve to show the kid a good time. Not that I'm a barrel of funzies. I'm a curmudgeonly old writer. However, due to my youth and my willingness to spend more than $6 on a birthday dinner, I won out over Little Bro's dad. Ex-Stepdad seemed to think Little Bro should be obligated to share a pizza with his old man on his 16th b-day, even after it was understood that there would be no gift of a motor vehicle. (due to changes in CA law, L.B. will not be allowed to get his license until his 18th birthday)
We were discussing whether or not males should have "Sweet 16" parties. I told him my 16th birthday was hardly sweet, since it involved baby Little Bro upstaging me and stealing focus while I made use of the family videocam. I was trying to make an arty teenage DIY film about myself, but not being an adorable baby made one's relevance in front of the camera highly suspect to our mom and she soon grabbed the camera from my teenage fingers and pointed it at Little Bro--I still have the tape in fact. Who wants to watch an eight-month-old drool on his Onesie while a pouty teenage girl yells "put the camera back on me! Give me that! MOOOOOOM!"??
Now we're both in the cuteness doghouse, and the family videocamera was not replaced, and we're spending his sixteenth birthday arguing over whether or not boys merit Sweet 16s. I support a turbo-gendered masculinist approach, offering to take him to a titty bar and pay for a feel, but the kid's queerer than a cat fart and openly dislikes breasts. I find such a proclamation shocking. Even I like and appreciate boobs and am totally unashamed to say so, but to Little Bro their just affirm his inner knowledge that he's a big maricon. Oh well.
We can't even come to a consensus on where to have dinner, other than it must be more than $6 and that there be no animatronic animals. Little Bro is vegetarian on Jewish holidays and alternating weekends, so I'll need to check in on his present commitment to animal rights.
Happy birthday, Little Bro.
My brother's girlfriend kissed me on my 16th birthday, but she was still attending my highschool at the time and you can see how well I turned out. :) I don't recall any special celebration of my 2^4 birthday, but most of my formative years were spent with an important exam the day after my birthday, so we didn't do much. Of course, I support the theory that women are what make men civilized, so any effort (by any of the women in the life of a male) to force the recognition of some form of tradition is to be lauded. Tradition tells us who we are and forces us to act in a decent manner.
Therefore, yes, celebrate Little Brother's birthday in an appropriate manner. Don't force sexuality on him, and if he suddenly develops an extreme interest in firearms and refuses a spot on the Olympic Team because, "it would make him too well known," don't blame me.
Posted by: Dave at June 23, 2007 10:49 PM