"What a crazy psycho fucking bitch! I can't believe she fucking CALLED you and said that! Dumb cunt. I mean, first, she's got no fucking manners, and second, she's calling you fishing for an invitation to come stay at your house. What the fuck is that???"
I realized my mother-in-law was in the next room and that I should probably cut down on the pottymouth. I didn't want to--this is how I fucking talk and fuck everyone who thinks I shouldn't be saying fuck. Then I realized that if she knew who I was speaking to in this vulgar manner, she'd probably be even more disapproving. YES, that's how my mother and I talk to each other. We've been peppering our language with the F word since I was, like, ten, and yes, we do frequent refer to female members of our family that we do not like as "dumb cunts." I love and respect the English language and feel that having sections of it restricted to me is even more offensive than calling someone a psycho fucking bitch.
Besides, if my mother failed to make those words forbidden and taboo when I was growing up (didn't happen), then why should they be now? She's the one who decided we should behave more like peers than parent and child. What the fuck do I care if someone thinks she's a bad parents for "allowing" her 31-year-old daughter say the F-word 238 times in a single phone conversation (ballpark--I didn't count)? Some mothers and daughters go out and max out credit cards together, or scratch out each others' lines of coke.
Both of my parents thought restricting my use of vulgar language was lame and pointless, so I was allowed to let it fly. My little bro had the misfortune of having a father who cares deeply about what others think and made it known that he was the household tastemaker and that we were to refer to human excrement as "a bowel movement' and the act of human procreation as "intercourse" but were not to use their related American multipurpose noun/verb/adjective/modifiers, especially in front of Little Bro, lest he grow up to be anything but an uptight, unpleasant shitheel.
Enough of that shit. Today's NYTimes article of interest: in the African nation of Mauritania, the feminine physical ideal is fat. Teenage girls are stuffed full of fatty camel's milk and couscous like livestock because that's what Mauritanian men find sexy. One hundred years ago in America, being fat was a sign of prosperity. Now looking like you were carved from an old hat rack is the look of the rich. The Mauritanian government is trying to put a stop to the creation of lush, Rubenesque young women, citing diabetes and heart disease. What they should be stopping is the disgusting forcefeeding methods--five gallons of camels milk a day? Yuck! Who could get down five gallons of ANYTHING a day?
I would still enjoy a culture where fatties ruled the day and would love to see some starved-looking woman get denied by a man because she looks like her daddy is the most broke-ass goat herder in the village.
Posted by Zerd at July 4, 2007 05:05 PMlets say fuck a lot today. not on the radio of course.
Posted by: andrea at July 5, 2007 01:22 PM