Le maudit Mo D.

annoying liberal arts college

Anyone watching that Gawker poll for "The Most Annoying Liberal Arts College?" I'm putting my money on Wesleyan. While a decent argument can be made for Smith being annoying, I spend such an insulated-from-the-rest-of-those-hos 3.5 years there that I don't see how Smith annoyingness can spill over into the world at large. I spent all my time in Big B playing Unrest CDs or at OZQ playing Unrest CDs and hardly met anyone. Of course, it's been a long time since I suffered the fools who spout pretentious victimology like genderqueer and othered by that discourse. I'm also not terribly fond of people who spell woman with a y, but again, those types of Smithies generally don't move to Texas post-grad. Either you're eating pussy or you're not. Let's not split hairs, pubic or otherwise.

I am convinced that a co-ed college has a much greater chance of being annoying than a single-sex one because there's always going to be those dumbbunny girls who affirm their parentally-bestowed sense of specialness by acting simultaneously stupid and superior just to get some unwashed Mamaroneck trustafarian dick. I remember a hell of a lot of hippie-ass white kids from Westchester and Jersey running their mouths about how they were going to stop oppression and suffering from their new Macintosh computers in fucking WestCo.* At Wesleyan, you really weren't cool unless you could tell stories about being beaten by a cop at a protest or spoke openly about irrigating your colon prior to anal sex. I guess it's hard to expect anything else from pampered 18-year-olds, and I suspect that this poll that Gawker is sponsoring comes from retrospective embarrassment on the part of a few Oberlin and Wes alums coming up on their 10th reunions. It's mighty fucking annoying to still be paying for college ten years hence, especially when you look back and see what a dumbfuck you were. Most people who are enthusiastic about voting in this went to these schools.

By comparison, some of the antics of the lesbos I went to college with still make me laugh. I mean, when your housemates are either fucking each other, the UPS man, or the floor, you've got to look back on that and laugh. We were so young. So so young.

*I apologize for pooping on the building where I met three of my most favorite people ever, Dyna, Milkes, and Johnnycakes, but I did have the room right over the stage in Down-3 and was forced to listen to an unfair amount of shitty jam bands.