This year, our faithful band of improvisers and improv-groupies is being awfully resistant to volunteering for our huge annual festival. That shit is the BOMB, yet somehow people do not want to spend an hour or two selling tickets, taking tickets at the door, or stuff the schwag bags. I am getting a little angry about this. I know we are all busy, but those tickets aren't going to sell themselves.
I want to post things on the boards like:
SIGN UP TO VOLUNTEER OR I WILL SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH
or
SIGN UP TO VOLUNTEER OR I WILL SMEAR GOAT EXCREMENT INTO YOUR EYE SOCKETS
or
SIGN UP TO VOLUNTEER OR I WILL MAKE A BASEBALL BAT OUT OF YOUR FEMUR AND TIBIA AND THEN BEAT YOUR HEAD IN WITH IT
AND THEN I WILL GET A GOAT TO EAT YOUR BRAINS AND THEN SHIT 'EM OUT AND I'LL GET TO SMEARING AGAIN.
But instead I will be passive-aggressive and post them here.