Last night Bob and I celebrated one year and three weeks of nuptial bliss by taking "Knife Skills: 101," an Odyssey in Chopping. I used to get apprehensive using the kitchen in the presence of The Chef, aka Bob's brother. The Chef is a CIA grad and during his tenure as one of Austin's Hottest Chefs, won numerous local culinary awards and was a fixture at any and all Austin food-related events. So picking up a knife and chopping garlic under his expert, watchful eye was intimidating, even after I said to him that doing so was intimidating and he gave me his permission to chop like an amateur.
Bob was feeling much the same way. I guess we both suffer from Gifted Child Syndrome, where if we can't be the best at something, we simply avoid said activity and stick to the ones that we excel at. But the fact of the matter is, chopping and slicing aren't going to exit our lives anytime soon, so why not learn how to do it right? So we signed up for this class and received expert instruction in dicing, mincing, and chopping jalapenos, tomatoes, carrots, and onions. They plied us with wine and salad and then let us have at the cutting board. Turns out, I'd been holding a knife wrong for many years now. I was also made moderately uncomfortable by the instructor's demand that the knuckle of my left hand made contact with the blade at all times. YOUR GUIDE HAND should have a knuckle that protrudes slightly so as to not be cut but also to guide the knife so that you are able to cut small, uniform chunklets of produce.
We learned how to scrape the slimy seed goo from a Roma tomato and created beautiful salsa-ready tomato cubes. We donned gloves to seed and mince a jalapeno. I bowed out of the orange supreming sesh, due to my rampant hatred of the orange and its desire to see me have skin illnesses. I already have one skin illness, which is slowly abating, so I do not need additional illnesses of the flesh triggered by citrus fruits. The very kind and friendly other-chef-guy gave me a bowl of chocolate and vanilla ice cream since the planned dessert was full of lethal supremed oranges which would have caused me a great deal of unhappiness and discomfort.
Bob was very pleased to learn that his homejobber knife sharpening prowess was spot-on. We were not the goobers that brought in a dull knife and had to sit through a brief public shaming. However, the class was a boon to present knife goober company since the instructor demonstrated proper sharpening technique on the goober's dull knife, so they saved $4 by being goobers and not having to take their dull blades to the coolest local business: THE KNIFE SHARPIST! I love hearing the Knife Sharpist's radio ads on Koop Radio, when they list all the amazing things that they specialize in sharpening:
KNIVES! SCISSORS! MACHETES! SWORDS! If it has a blade they can sharpen it! They service restaurants AND tonsorial enterprises. The list is longer than just those four bladed instruments I have mentioned.
The nice knife lady at C-market also offers a Knife Skills 201 course which focuses on the deboning of meats. Students are given a whole fish to debone. This piqued my husband's interest, for his love of meat extends beyond the simple act of eating it. He is consistent with his love of the flesh so for that I applaud him. I love Bob.
In sum, I highly recommend Knife Skills 101 as a way to celebrate a milestone or just for the joy of learning. A.
Posted by Zerd at September 6, 2007 12:32 PMYears and years ago, my radio station had a show with Sean-Na-Na, Bangs, Red Stars Theory, and 764-HERO. I was in charge of making dinner for everyone, and I made chili for the easiness of cooking in bulk. I chopped 10 jalapenos without gloves. Half my hand turned red and then burned really badly for the next 24 hours, like enough that I wasn't sure I could sleep.
Posted by: Amy at September 6, 2007 04:36 PM