Le maudit Mo D.

barthelona, dia 1

I have landed in Spain. OMG, hate...HATE IBERIA AIRLINES what a goddamn torture vessel. We flew IBERIA (which sounds like a case of Spanish beer shits, because it is) from Heathrow. NO leg room and the rather hot (Spanish men, so far, are noticeably hot) male flight attendant did not offer me a drink. He was probably, like, "I am too hot and too Spanish to serve this American lady a drink."

Seriously, are Spanish men on that list of men a woman should not ever make eye contact with, because eye contact is an invitation for sex? Or is that just Brazil. I made eye contact with another very attractive Spaniard and he attempted to engage me in Castillian. My Mental Tijuana Spanish Parser did not register and I just said "Barcelona" in a dopey TJ accent (I thought he was asking where I was going). He gave me this weird look after that and walked away. Hey dude: tengo un marido. Back el fuck off.

Seriously, why are European men sexier than American men? Several swarthy, comely, and most likely uncircumsized men caught my attention today and reaffirmed my heterosexuality. American men, by contrast, seem clownish. These guys give off this aura of really being able to pleasure a woman in bed.

Have I mentioned I haven't slept in 24 hours?

Bob and I came directly to the familial Barthelona apartment, where the majority of the family is sick and, much like the familial home in Mittenland, the TV is on all the time, only THERE IS NO ENGLISH-LANGUAGE TV! And no Don Francisco!

We ate some tasty bread and hard chorizo. Sleepy tired. I see that it is only 1:21pm Austin time. It feels like 8:21pm to me, so I guess I have overcome jet lag. I will sleep like a Spanish baby bitch tonight in my IKEA bed.

Posted by Zerd at December 19, 2007 01:14 PM