During commencement weekend, the Ladycollege hosts an alumnae parade. Starting with the ancient centenarians (Class of 1928, anyone?), the parade proceeds chronologically with the graduating class taking up the rear (not taking it UP the rear, tyvm, although I don't know. It's been years since I attended a rugby party.) Each class holds up signs relating to the era that they graduated. For me, it's the '90s. Tech, Seinfeld, Clinton, ha ha ha.
1998 was the year of the Monica Lewinsky scandal. I feel we would be doing Monica a great dishonor by not making mention of her in our parade. I mean, we talked a lot about Monica, felt her, worried about what a disaster her future was going to be, and were maybe a little jealous that she got to wrap her lips around Billy's willy. So here are my ideas (sure to be rejected) for rhymey sign slogans:
We had too much school work
Our rooms were a mess
But it wasn't a Smithie
Who wore the famous blue dress!
We knew we'd be awesome
Our lives would go far
Because our private lives weren't investigated
by Kenneth Starr!
(or, At least none of us were "probed" by the President's cigar)
Before 1998, a cigar was a cigar
A blue dress was a blue dress
We all watched in awe at the President's mess
In 1998, wasn't it silly
that the biggest news story
was the President's willy?
Since 1998, we know, it's been said
Bill should have married a Smithie
Wellesley girls can't give head!
Or, more succinctly:
We (I) would have blown the president, too!
Posted by Zerd at February 2, 2008 08:22 PM