I'm sick. My head hurts and I have a 98.1 fever, which is a minor fever, but a fever nonetheless. T'was noted earlier by my beloved that I was being more negative than usual. He offered to get a roll of stickers with minus signs on them and stick one on me whenever I say something negative.
And so, in honor of my illness, a list of things I hate:
1) People who stop an entire lane of traffic so they can turn left over a double yellow line. Illegal, immoral, dangerous, stupid.
2) Blog spam.
3) People who say, "I'll be you any money" and "If you look up ____ in the dictionary, you'll see my picture." Because NO, you won't bet me any money (I frequently call this bluff and then the bluffer retracts) and NO, I've seen dictionary illustration files and THEY DON'T HAVE YOUR FUCKING PICTURE!! Unless you're an okapi or an upland sandpiper or a curling stone, shut the fuck up.
4) The foie gras fucktards who think harassing a restaurant owner is heroic when it's just lame and pointless. Go fuck with a big beef producer or something. Yeah, that's hard isn't it?
5) Sore throats!
6) My back! It hurts all the time! Ow!
7) People who hate on Hillary.
8) The fact that I'm missing both M. Bamford tonight AND Sacrebleu starring IFE, although I do not hate the fact that we do not have cable. Funny that. If I could just pay for public access, I would.
9) Celery!
10) Sick. sick. seeeeck.
You're not missing Sacrebleu with IFE tonight, because we're rescheduling due to scheduling stuff. I reckon we'll get a tape(?) of it, if you want to watch later, but I'll bet you any money that it's just an hour of Hillary jokes.
I am also getting the plague creeping back up on me. Fuck you, plague!
Posted by: Marc at February 20, 2008 08:13 PM